Abortions Save Lives: Victims are in Danger…Again
In my early twenties, I had a brief stint working as a receptionist for an abortion clinic in Manhattan and Brooklyn. That is where I first learned of the RU 486 pill and a noninvasive option as an alternative to the electric suction machine typically used during the procedure.
What I also discovered was lots of people have abortions. Many of them have various reasons for having them. I had my first one when I was 15 years old. I subsequently had abortions at 17 and 19 years old. For the first two, the decision was easy; the last one was a lot tougher. I felt the decision wasn’t my own and the doctor shamed and humiliated me while prepping for the procedure.
At the abortion clinic, we had patients from all walks of life, ages, and circumstances, but there is one patient that has always stuck with me. It was a white woman in her early forties. She was whispering because she didn’t want anyone to hear. She needed to schedule the procedure quickly because her husband had the impression she was going on a trip with her friend. I distinctly remember her saying, “I have to get this done. I can’t have any more of this man’s children.” He was also her abuser.
After experiencing nearly three years of abuse, in a last-ditch effort, my abuser said to me one day when I had started making plans to leave, “we should have a baby.” I was taken aback. I told him there was no way I would have a child with him. I am grateful that I stood my ground and stopped having sex with him. However, there are times when having sex with an abuser is the only way to keep a victim safe.
Perpetrators of violence use reproductive coercion and abuse to control and oppress their victims. Fifteen percent of female family planning clinic clients with a history of physical and/or sexual IPV reported birth control sabotage from a partner. Twenty-five to fifty percent of adolescent mothers experienced partner violence before, during, or just after their pregnancy.
The decision by the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade has dire consequences for every pregnancy, especially for Black, Indigenous, Latina/o/x pregnant people. With no or limited access, those experiencing reproductive coercion and abuse are forced to take risks that can be detrimental to their safety and health. Being forced to give birth by their abuser can also have generational repercussions. The mental and emotional toll on the pregnant person can impact other areas of their lives, including family relationships, friendships, workplaces, and communities.
I don’t know what will happen next, but I do know that many of us on the ground in the communities will continue to do what we have always done: take care of ourselves. We will continue to show up and speak for those who can’t speak for themselves. We will come together to determine ways to keep us safe. We will not let oppression win.
Here are ways you can support victims of intimate partner violence who are impacted by the decision to overturn Roe v. Wade:
Donate to the Eva Lee Parker Fund
Donate to Sister Song
Find events at We Won’t Go Back
